


Drops in our Memories

by stardropdream



Category: xxxHoLic
Genre: F/M, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-24
Updated: 2013-02-24
Packaged: 2017-12-03 10:40:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,339
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/697380
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stardropdream/pseuds/stardropdream
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Zashiki-Warashi offers to stay in Watanuki's shop, as a means to clear away the bad luck that lingers there.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Drops in our Memories

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on LJ January 12, 2012.

  
**I.**  
  
“Ah… that is…” the zashiki-warashi whispers quietly, and fidgets. Watanuki waits patiently, smiling up at her as she shifts around, hands wringing together and feet shuffling across the garden ground. “That is… if it isn’t too much trouble, I thought that—that is.”   
  
He waits patiently, but the longer he looks at her, the more flustered she becomes. She can feel the heat creeping up the back of her neck and can do nothing to stop it.   
  
“Because there’s… the lingering bad energy,” she says to her hands, and peeks up at him through her bangs. She sees him stiffen up slightly, knows that he knows what (or rather, who) she is speaking of. This only makes her start speaking quickly. “I’m supposed to occupy houses and—and I can bring luck and I… so I thought that, if it was something you wished for, I could o-occupy this place and… and, um. Dissipate the bad luck.”   
  
She trails off into mumbles but she knows that he’s heard her. He frowns slightly. Not a cruel frown, but a thoughtful one. She feels as if she’s about to die. Her hands feel sweaty and she’s shaking slightly. All the blood has rushed to her cheeks and she can do nothing about it, ever. She half-wishes she’d been smart and brought the ame-warashi with her, to help give her support and to help strengthen her points.   
  
But she’d wanted to do this on her own. She wants to be stronger, so this is the first step. Even if she feels as if this first step will definitely be the death of her.  
  
“Okay,” is the simple response she isn’t truly expecting.  
  
“Eep,” she says before she can stop the little surprised sound. She covers her mouth with both hands and blinks over at him.   
  
He’s smiling now. “That is, if it’s what you wish to do—to help me, I will be grateful for it.”   
  
“I-I’m glad,” she says, and is glad—she feels herself smiling and she drops her hands to fist in the front of her dress. “Thank you—”  
  
“But,” he says and she freezes up instantly. He looks apologetic. “The price…”  
  
“What is it?” she asks, wringing her hands.  
  
“Even with your luck, you will suffer some residual effects from the bad luck that lingers here,” he says, quiet, as if afraid to chase her away with the truth.   
  
She bites her lip and nods a little. “I understand. That is… I’ll be alright. Once the house is cleared—I c-can… I can return to my mountain and be cleansed.”  
  
“Very well,” he says, and smiles up at her. “It’ll be nice for this place to be cleansed as well. Also, I’ll be thankful for the company.”  
  
The smile is too much and all she can do is clench her eyes shut and nod her head vigorously before running away into the house, dissolving into the walls. She might as well start working now. It’ll give her a chance to cool down from the force of his smile.   
  
  
  
**II.**   
  
For the first few weeks, she feels sick.   
  
She doesn’t move much, just kind of floats in that space between wall and door, not bothering to look visible because if she does, she will just worry Watanuki.   
  
She hears the ame-warashi sometimes, out in the garden, shouting at Watanuki about letting her do this in the first place. She can’t hear Watanuki’s responses over the shouts of the rain spirit, but it’s both parts comforting and distressing—comforting to know that he ame-warashi is worried about her, but distressing to know that he is being shouted at.   
  
She still can’t look him in the eye. But, she tells herself, she’ll do her best and get better.   
  
  
  
**III.**  
  
She still feels sick, but it’s getting better. She likes to watch Watanuki and it makes her feel better. Doumeki visits a lot and it’s reassuring to her to see him interact with others, since she can’t do so at the moment. Sometimes, a girl with long hair (she later learns her name is Kohane) visits, too. Very rarely, the zashiki-warashi can sense the bringer of the bad luck just outside the front gate, looking in but never entering herself. Zashiki-warashi thinks she can understand—wanting to be near him, at least.   
  
When she finally can appear, she’s meek about it. He doesn’t quite chide her, but tells her that she’s welcome in the shop and that, for the time being, it is her home. She flushes with such happiness that she has to dissolve into the wall again to calm down.   
  
  
  
**IV.**   
  
“I can’t believe you’re doing this,” the ame-warashi says with a grumpy snap. She’s sitting on the veranda outside with the zashiki-warashi, umbrella tight in her hands and her expression molded into her customary grumpy expression. “It’ll just make you sick.”  
  
“I was at first,” she admits quietly, not able to look her friend in the eye. “B-but I’m better now… I can sense that the shop is responding, too. It’s also happy to be better.”  
  
“Tch,” the rain spirit scoffs, her frown deepening. “That person won’t appreciate you as he should.”  
  
“He’s been very kind,” she protests meekly.  
  
The ame-warashi tightens her hold on her umbrella and scoffs again. She’ll never understand why the ame-warashi always got so angry over Watanuki, but she didn’t ever dare ask, either.   
  
“I’m happy that… that I can do something for him,” she says quietly.   
  
Her friend doesn’t respond, just shifts her position, crossing one leg over the other and glaring off into the distance. The zashiki-warashi shifts slightly, scooting over closer to her.  
  
“Thank you,” she says. “I know y-you’re worried about me.”  
  
“Tch,” is the only response she receives. But the zashiki-warashi understands.   
  
With a boldness she can’t quite understand, she reaches out and takes the ame-warashi’s hand in both of hers and holds it tight. When the rain spirit turns to look at her, she smiles at her.   
  
“Thank you,” she says again.  
  
Ame-warashi sighs quietly and closes her eyes. “… You’re welcome.”   
  
  
  
**V.**  
  
“You look better,” Watanuki says one evening. The moon is hanging low in the sky and it’s so soft and pretty, the zashiki-warashi can’t help but wait in the garden. She’s happy to be able to help Watanuki and even happier to spend time with him—but she does miss her mountain.   
  
“I—!” she begins before she loses her nerve. She doesn’t ever know what to say to him.   
  
He just smiles. It still flusters her, but the smiles aren’t as bright as they once were. There’s the touch of sadness that he can’t erase, and she knows it. It’s still a pretty smile, but it’s a melancholy prettiness that doesn’t make her flush every single time.   
  
Or maybe, she hazards to imagine, she is getting stronger. She isn’t sure, though.   
  
It’s a nice thought, all the same.   
  
“I… thank you,” she says. “I mean—um. I think th-that I am healthier now. T-the bad luck…”  
  
“Mm, it’s clearing,” he agrees.   
  
She fidgets. She’s glad the luck is dissipating, but hates that it means that, soon, she won’t have to stay there.   
  
“Your price is paid, I think,” he says, and, again, the smile looks pained as he says it.   
  
She nods a little, feeling herself blush.  
  
  
  
 **VI.**  
  
“I’ve enjoyed the time you spent here,” he says. “I wish you’d been able to be healthy the entire time.”  
  
It’s morning. The house is clear. She can feel it and, she knows, so can he. She can’t think of a reason to stay and yet she wishes to.   
  
“I-i-it’s okay,” she stutters out and clenches her eyes shut.   
  
She fidgets.   
  
“Thank you,” he says, and this time, his smile doesn’t look devastatingly sad.   
  
“M-mm,” she mumbles.   
  
“You’re always very kind to me. I’m very grateful.”  
  
“M-mm…”   
  
  
  
**VII.**  
  
She keeps her eyes shut tight as she leaves, and it is only when she’s far enough away that she can manage a quiet, “It’s because I love you.”


End file.
